Busy Day Or On The Verge Of Being A Grouch?

Today has been a little calm than whole week; I actually could sit down and talk to people in a civilized manner. I made it into work with 3 minutes to spare and set myself up in the office, this time to walk out the door and check on projects and maybe lay some pavers or two. It’s a good thing that I did walk out the office, the new girl is on my last nerve, the few times, I managed to talk to someone on the phone, she some how threw her gum in my office, not that she was chewing it but unwrapping it. I ignored her on all accounts (4 times), then she scuffed her feet in my office (a pet peeve) countless times announcing what she might be doing, that’s for Diane to know, not me. I quickly bobbed my head and smiled and returned to my work, later Diane came in and could tell she was bothering me and suggested she would keep her busy the rest of the afternoon. Then I came out finally to give some instructions to Diane and the new girl, this is where the fun started. Every time I tried to explain something she butted in or tried to finish my sentence. I growled at her, I couldn’t take anymore and told her “if she knows what to do then have at it, I can’t seem to tell you fast enough to make you happy” She looked at me in surprise and Diane said “see I told you”. Countless times I’ve asked her not to interrupt me when I’m explaining things, I want them done this way and that’s that. I didn’t finish and walked out making a pit stop to get a bite to eat and blog some. Diane called later saying she was sorry and she’s explained to her how rude that was and explaining to me how she really is a sweet girl and for me not to be too angry with her. No worries was my answer I just need out in the air a while, I’m not a paper pusher.

Wake Up Blah Boy!

Well, I “got” my job of a life time. This project is going to be huge, so much larger than I could imagine. I’m fired up and excited and full of coconut shrimp and beer along with too anxious to sleep. The guys that I will be working for are really nice and loaded with money. I called Mom the minute I could to tell her about the job and she screamed in joy. She’s as excited as I am. She told me Lori and her were having the best time in the Gulf, shopping and seeing the sites. I was happy to hear it but it was too late to talk to my baby she was already in bed. My mood was semi damped when I came home to a long faced Jacks, “Mitzi died today”. I was in shock, she’s only 24 but has had some health problems for the last 2 years. Having that stupid gastric bypass surgery messed her up on every thing, she later had heart problems then gall bladder surgery. Apparently her husband was going to wake her this morning and she was gone, dying from a heart attack. Its sad that so many young people I know are gone for one reason or another. The last two days have been murder to me with school and finals coming up for me and then work and new projects. I could use a long long nap.

Routines…

I just figured I’m a person of routines, get up, eat, shower, dress, go to school, lunch, and work then home. Throw in a smathering of school, homework and a different job here and there -- you have my day. When I sit at my desk in the mornings; sign on, look at mail and messages, while that’s loading, hook up my MP3 player, check my watch and open up my drink. Everyone knows when I first come in the office, to let me do my routine so that everything is organized for the day. When I eat, OMG its one item off the plate at a time, if it were meat and potatoes then; all the meat then the potatoes and what ever item is next on my plate. My Mom says she believes I eat counter clockwise from my plate. Lately I’ve been out of my routines; my parents and little sister are out of the house, leaving me and Jacks to fiend for ourselves. I like to sit and eat and chat it up some with the guys, just to catch up on the latest gossip. Boy is there gossip, I didn’t really realize what goes on with the group here, tangled love-hate matches, huge crushes, fights, and he said she saids. Tonight I plan on going out with them again to see what kind of trouble there is to be had, I’m really liking this summer so far……I talked to Lori last night on the phone, she informed me on all the fun going on with Mommy and Daddy. They ate “fann see” fancy the other night, her little southern accent really came out on that word. Meaning they ate outside in a nice restaurant…I think the key thing was eating outside — she had two hotdogs…….

Balancing Acts

So distance, events, others, interests and mostly time are all factors to make feelings change about yourself or someone else. I’ve witnessed this and experienced it myself on just about all counts. When my Pops is away the house changes, the air seems lighter and for some reason I can accomplish things. = Distance. My younger brother has been out of the house for almost the last two weeks and it was total silence then, him leaving for a trip to Cabo. = Events. My sister and Mom were in Florida enjoying Space Camp and family which made it even more dull. Now, they are all back, well not my Pops thank God but the rest of the clan is. Lori and Mom leave tomorrow for the Gulf to be with my Pops the whole summer. I snuggled in the couch with Lori tonight just to spend some time with her, she was mad because I came home late but grew excited when she saw I brought --her very own boogie board with her name spray painted on it. I tucked her in the bed for the last time this summer and watched her drift off to sleep. I’m going to miss that little one. The other day she told me she named my Exs baby “Pirate Larry”. Where she came up with that I don’t know but I like it. = Others. I caught Jacks rolling in semi late tonight after hanging out with Trace (something I cooked up myself) He was all smiles talking about the stupid things Trace has planned for the summer. = Interests. All of those that make life balance out can make or break you. I feel for people that go through this, I really do because its such a lonely feeling. Really not knowing where to turn or who to talk to. In time, with a few interests and some distance from the hurt, the events will change for the better, its life, it has to balance out.

Moods

Have you ever just been in a mood? Something or someone affects you and your whole attitude about life changes -- just for a while. Last night I was sitting on the deck enjoying the night when “company” came over unannounced and unwanted. It was my Ex thinking I wanted her to come in for a visit with her child in tow. She was wrong on both counts, while she kept forcing me to hold him. I didn’t want to and expressed how I didn’t appreciate her just dropping by without so much as a phone call. “Why? Do you have a woman here?” was her smart ass response. I quickly asked her “where the father of the baby was he might want to hold it” she scowled at me. “Are you afraid of holding my baby, he doesn’t bite”. I held my tongue but wanted to tell her if he’s anything like his mom he would bite. I sat there in disgust as she pushed and talked as if we were old pals. Asking question after personal question as if I were to really answer her.” You better get on the stick and have one of these or you are going to be alone the rest of your life”. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I freaked on her, telling her things I thought I never would say in my entire life to any person, hated or not, half of it I can’t even remember what I blurted out. She packed all her play things up and left in tears, hopefully getting the point that she’s not welcomed around me anymore. I broke open a leftover 6 pack from the weekend and worked my way though it, steaming the whole time thinking about what was said. Then to come in to work and the new girl asked to leave at 3 today but decided to she better leave at noon to beat traffic to the dentist. I told her that her part time project was about over and she might want to use that time to look for another job as well. It might be a good thing that I am alone in the house right now, so no one else is growled at.

Tuesday Mornings...

It’s been ever so quiet around the house the last few days, G dropped by to check on things --me -- but other than that everything is perfect. Cari and I were talking about being alone, she cant, for some reason -- I feel there is some deep dark secret she’s not telling, for her not to be able to be alone. I like to sit and think and relax after a long hard day at work, my mind wanders over the day’s events and I can plan for the next. I haven’t talked to Amy much in the last week or so, she feels running her self in the ground with work is a good thing, and I say what ever makes her happy, do it. The Weekend Tropical storm weakened long before it reached us, over 6 inches of much needed rain was the only cause. Lori is doing great at Space Camp and Mom loves the visit with the Grands while Lori gets her science fix. They both will come home on Monday and be here a whopping whole 4 days to pack and move down to the gulf with Pops for the summer. Last night Jacks called, with loud party noises in the background. He says it’s been one nonstop party the whole time, as it should be. He sounds so happy and hyper and relaxed with no other worries on his mind. I heard “Jaaaaacccks come on!!” in a giggly girl voice --- I don’t want to know. He didn’t ask about or mention any other people, I didn’t volunteer any info. I have a new best friend the last couple of days/nights, Julie have visited. She asks about Trace and what I did for the day, if I have heard from Lori. Her main topic of conversation is Jacks; she is in total lust for him and wants to know all about the women in his life. Most of the times we just sit on the back deck and eat ice cream together and watch the people walk in the beach. I think she really misses them. Wednesday is my Doctors appointment on the ankle of doom, hopefully he says take it easy and I can lose the boot.

Summer days…

It’s quiet around the house right now, too quiet. Lori has gone to south Florida for her Space Camp retreat, her reward for going into the 4th grade and not killing anyone. I have to say Mom and Pops did something right when they had that little “mistake”. She’s no trouble at all, most days I don’t even know she’s on the place, a few summers ago when I was in charge of the household she wanted to test me some – going to the beach or her friends house without anyone escorting here there. A couple of temper tantrums and afternoons in her bedroom, she conformed to “Marks rules”. Mom is down there with her although; they are visiting my Pops parents --- the fun ones. Jacks is on his trip to Cabo San Lucas, giving me a call the other night saying he didn’t want to come back home, he’s having so much fun. Pops is in the Gulf and will be for the summer and possibly early fall. I have the house to myself for the next week. Still not so sure about the new girl, she keeps running in my office for the strangest things. Bee teases me and says she has a crush, I say she’s bored and needs more work to keep her busy. Diane called late yesterday saying she would be back on Monday, that’s a relief to me, however I cant do field work just like I want to with my stupid ankle. Bee and I have been drawing plans on the greenhouse renovations and were up late late last night working on them. Some of her ideas are really out there but manageable and worth a try. Starting Monday that will be the new project for us to accomplish, tonight Chris and I are going out on a “Wild Man Friday Nite Bash” sounds like fun but something he made up. Maybe I will have a party on Saturday night to pass the time away.