Saying goodbye...

This morning, working outside in the hot moist air I thought about things about life of course. When I am able to work outside and alone that’s when the thinking begins. Oh sure, paying attention to what I am doing is a plus but sometimes I get lost in my thoughts. Maybe that’s a young person’s escape that doesn’t do drugs and occasionally has copious amounts to drink on weekends. Thinking back on the last couple of years of my own life and where it’s gone, being so sick and how much I have improved in my own health. I was proud of myself for going through that and more so proud of my family with their support. Not that I had some incurable disease, mine was just poor lack of judgment on my part and thinking I had superhuman powers. My phone rings and it’s my cousin crying her eyes out, “mom might not make it through the weekend”. My heart sunk and I dropped my tools, Hospice is with her right now and they pretty much know what is going on with their patients, or so we thought. Through her sobs I tried to tell her I’m here for them and just keep me informed of the situation, I was dreading making the phone call to Mom. I called her trying my best to put the words to her easy, hating the idea that I was the one to hurt her. She took it well and said they would pack and be home by tomorrow night at the latest. I asked what I needed to do and she just told me to pray. This in turn made me think of my Moms own mortality with her cancer as well, how would I cope or handle this kind of situation? Now was the planning of what to do this week, shuffling appointments and schedules. I called Jacks to let him know we may have a bad turn of a weekend and just to be prepared for it. About 45 minutes later the phone rang again, same cousin, with the same sobbing voice, she whispered to me “she’s gone”.