Less of a funk ass mood…

I think maybe that its going my way once again. We listened to Trace a while in hopes that he doesn’t become one of the Soggy Bottom Boys in requesting current song after song, I even requested Jacks “You’ll think of me” song and Trace nailed it. The night was young and so are we, playing a few games of pool makes everything alright. Around mid game 3 the nice waitress came bounding up with a tray full of drinks and a note on a napkin “HB2U” damn it!! I forgot my Bar note decoder ring! Since around two years ago and the fiasco of rhohipnol I refuse to take a free open drink, thanked her and returned to my game, two seconds later she returns with an unopened beer and assured me she pulled it from the cooler herself. I glanced around the bar opened the beer and raised it in a motion of thanks and resumed my game once more. 30 minutes later another note and unopened beer arrived “N many more” ok, this isn’t fun anymore or is it? I asked the girl who wanted to spend 6 bucks on me, she smiled and said 20 a tip was included to keep my mouth shut. Curious, I looked for my ex to be around with baby in tow or Jacks goofy smile in a dark corner. Nope, none to be found so I decided to take a break from the smoke and music and get a breath, my cell rang. “Shit!!” to my relief it was Amy, we talked for a few minutes, she was distressed about work and chomping chips. The added distraction helped me and we all decided to move to another pub to listen to Trace’s competition. Ten minutes into the jam another tray of drinks and same dumb ass note “enjoy“. Ok, this wasn’t funny --- or is it? Since Chris and Trace and the mob are huge pranksters I chose not show any reaction. Lets see what happens tonight.

In a mood again……

I hate being in moods, they are and can be highly childish, this time above and beyond childish and I let it dominate my day. No longer, I wash my hands--feet--arms--mind and what other appendage I may have that need a good cleansing. Hung out around the house for a while yesterday afternoon in hopes to talk to Amy for a while, she decided that hand holding of her brother and father was the best route. That’s ok, what ever makes her satisfied is alright with me, sometimes we have to do things we don’t really want or accept them....
Lori and Mom and I had pizza that really didn’t settle well with me. (possibly because of the funk ass mood I was in). Lori demonstrated how you should really eat a slice, chomping from the crust. It didn’t interest me but I sat with a fake amused face. She left gleefully to hop online to talk to “Barton”. Ughh
Tonight, Chris and I plan on listening to Trace a while, Trace is all fired up with his trip to Texas in two days to do a meet and greet with some big wig singers. I can remember when he used to get so angry when his dad made him practice. His father is a minister in the church my family attends and he felt that if Trace was busy with music it would keep him out of trouble. What a joke, two years or more ago he started playing again with a small group that met on weekends then they progressed to an every night ordeal. After his father saw that it was consuming his life he encouraged (demanded) that he play on Sundays and at his revivals, which prompted offers to visit other functions (birthdays-weddings-funerals). Now he is a bluegrass king, -snickers- he says that we should give him five or more years on this and he moves on to his on genre of music. I say “right on!” and only hope the best for him.
So tonight I plan on going and tormenting him a while and playing a few games of pool and darts to let out my aggressions for the night. It’s the weekend and time to relax and enjoy the days --- which are getting much shorter now…. Bring on the dark….
This one song is rambling in my head… possibly because Jacks was playing it over and over while I talked to him yesterday--Keith Urban You’ll think of me…I heed the words and the warning.

Well the day has come upon us once more…

This time it’s a quiet time, no shouting or running down the stairs or slamming of doors. No wondering and looking or searching, just you, waking up, going on with your day. Silently, quietly, alone…no one knows or has a clue and I think you prefer it that way. It wasn’t always that way; years ago it was fun times, something to look forward to, a time of togetherness -- of sorts. Now it feels at though it brings distance and a collective thought of “Wow another one down”. I talked to you last night, for what seemed to be hours but actually minutes, you were in no mood to really talk in depth for what ever reasoning it might be. Only silence, an occasional sigh and wondering what might be going through your mind at that very moment between the two of us, or what ever events going on in your personal life. Maybe its school, or some one, could you be that afraid of failure? It’s not really happened to you as of yet. Maybe it’s the “teachings” of our Pop that has brought you to this point.
That huge working brain of yours moves so quickly, far beyond anyone’s realizations or expectations. However, you feel it doesn’t work properly and to the beat of the same drummer as the rest of the world. Be happy it doesn’t, be happy that you are original and can think and stand alone.
Along with that brain is a huge heart, filled with so much love for your fellow man, no matter whom ever they may be and however they may cross you. I stand amazed how no one has faults in your eyes, as does anyone else that may have the pleasure of truly getting to know you.Learn this, you aren’t alone, just separated only in a distance, nothing a phone call or a quick jump in the truck wouldn’t cure and can easily be managed. Physical distance is just a tiny obstacle that can be over come but doesn’t lessen the feelings people have for you. Also learn this, no matter what anyone says or thinks, don’t let them get you down. You are the master of your own destiny, the builder of your own dreams, and the maker of your own hearts desire.
You keep creating, loving, caring and trying --- that’s what life is all about, that’s the challenge everyone is brought to, you just need to see it and you will achieve it, I have no doubts you will some day.We all four have been taught that, you know it and you live by it, I’ve seen you live by it more than all of your brothers or sister. Along with learning to love and give that same respect to others, you sometimes walk away from hurt and those that hurt, without giving them retribution. Knowing they will continue to hurt just for the pure pleasure of it and will only bring you down. Even though you don’t believe you are that mature, you are above and beyond the majority of your peers. You, my friend, my little brother, have a happy birthday the best you know how.

Tuesday?

Is it something in the air? Something about the way we are taught? Or just being a total retard? People DO NOT LISTEN!! Have you noticed that? Sniffles, the girl I let go last week actually had the gall to want to come back and apply for her old job but “with a whole new attitude” Right…….I’m getting right on that on hiring her back. We just have the office in order from the her last fiasco she pulled on 5 new customers. So I say that’s a big NO on her coming back.
I talked to my brother Luke last night for a while, he is about as good at listening that anyone else. I told him no more than four times that I wasn’t going to Clemson this weekend. I swear to God I could hear him packing his bags. I have to say that I can be pretty bad myself, Amy and I can be talking on the phone and look at my work orders or CNN or someone on the beach and she has the nerve to cold bust me. -evil grin-. Ok I’m not a master of the multitask fan club.
I sat with Lori some today and we discussed her school program, why did we? The hell do I know but we did, she informed me about her newest boyfriend Barton……umm ok. We will call him Bart, Bart is cool and he likes that. He was also joining us for dinner hence the pre convo above about listening. I was to be nice and have manners and not call him Barton. Why!!!! Tell me his real damn name and not expect me to use it? Barton walked in with a swagger and the side swoop hair cut of the early 70s, Oh my God I wanted to nail him to the floor. The whole time at dinner I ate glaring at him wondering what thoughts were behind that swooped head of hair. This is the exact time I needed Jacks at home, he always managed to say or do something to tip the apple cart. Any way I’m being good and leaving them alone and working on my own home work……..growls……

Happy birthday to you….

Well here it is missy, your 20th the big “Two Oh” no longer a teen and just in the beginning of life. It seems just like yesterday that you were bouncing around celebrating your 17th all giggles and smiles. Now, 3 years later, you are here and going strong, growing in leaps in bounds, with so much love and caring in your heart. You have the terrible habit of trying to make everyone OK when you need to focus on yourself some times. You want the whole world right and struggle to make it so. You worry that some day I might tire of you and walk away but I’m so addicted, there cant be an easy way out. Just think back of all the funny, stupid, sad, scary times we have had together and then think of them over and over because we will have so many more to come. Some day and maybe not some day soon but “someday” we will celebrate together; those will be the days and times to remember. Things will be right and the world will sit on its axis as you want it to, if not, then I will push it. Anyway, I hope you do something for yourself and no one else, be a little selfish and enjoy the day. You adult you. –Evil grins- Know that I love you and I’m thinking of you all day long.

Hummm

Not getting much of a response agian......

Mmmmm

This time of the year is possibly one of my favorites, the mornings are cool and calm shadows on the mountains and hills. If you are downtown the birds are singing and chirping and squirrels are scrambling -- oh man I sound like a Disney scene. This morning I sat on a bench and watched people walk/rush by on their way to work or whatnot. Drank a large glass of sweet tea and talked to some old gents across from me about taxes, the high price of gas and the war – just blew out of the Disney scene.
Last night I may have overwhelmed Jacks a little with the announcement that he has 5 condo plans to choose from, his PO Box address will be sent to him and he had mail from his new school. He seems to be pretty stable with a huge class load and events after that keep him preoccupied from being homesick or friendless.
Trace and I would like to run up for a visit this weekend but that’s not really advisable at the moment, he really needs to acclimate himself to the area without being dependant on someone else (family) being with him.
I caught Lori looking in his room the other day, I’m thinking she’s making plans to move from the 1st floor to his on the 3rd. It might not be a bad idea, besides she’s scoped out Luke’s room for years and I don’t really feel like sharing a bathroom with her.
Mom is somber; she and Pops have not resolved their problems with his temper and attitude around the house. I feel guilty, as if I had some invisible hand in their arguments and would do anything to resolve them.
PG has been the man of the hour/week, talking to his realtor buddies and getting the latest and greatest info out for us. He amazes me with his charm to them; how he can get anything he needs in a proper amount of time. He worries that his slow speech and backwards wordings will confuse them but he gets his point across plainly.
Amy and I have managed to talk just about every day at lunch, pure heaven for me to hear her giggle and not freak over problems either home or here. She’s still is working both jobs and millions of hours but if that makes her happy….

News Flash!! Half the week….gone!

It’s been an interesting few days around and about here, Jacks is gone “Oh-Eff-Eff-Tee” to school which makes the house very quiet. Mom and Pops had a HUUGGE blow out of words over the weekend; she’s demanding him to seek professional help and is offering to join him. Lori is asking all about babies and where they come from once again. Isn’t there a Scared Straight-No Sex Before Marriage Video?
Work has boomed right along with school, I like my class this term, maybe the teacher and I will not have to knock heads as the last instructor and I did. However, the other people in the class said it made for an interesting day when we disagreed, by the end of the term some of the others were following suit on arguments and questions.
Work is very pleasant without sniffles in the office, trying her best to get everyone’s sympathy. She made mistakes and would repeat them, without trying to learn the correct procedure. When she was called out on them, she gave some lame excuse of not feeling well or having a head ache.
I believe Jacks first day of school is today, we talked some last night and he seemed off in some sorts. Maybe it’s the new surroundings or the excitement of going to class but he just was a little off kilter to me. Our move in was a total blow out, our Pops thought it might be very welcoming to turn off all the utilities, in turn spoiling everything in the refrigerator. We unpacked in the dark and with no cool air or water.
Lori has cheer-itus now, bouncing along screaming out chants and raves and what not. “Gimme an S, gimme an A, gimee an L, Gimme an T” at the dinner table makes me smile, I tell her that’s how cheerleaders learned how to spell. She growls at me and tells me I’m not nice, I told her Amy was a cheerleader and she spells really well. Which immediately puts a huge smile on her face and she continues with her rants.
If things keep going weather wise we might have a shower or two with the tropical storm heading our way. I hope so, everything is so dry and dull here.

Mish Mosh....

So the last few days have been stormy, blackish, weird, and a whole other bunch of adjectives that do not pertain to the weather. Yesterday I let new girl leave early and paid her not to come back. Her sniffling and whining with the long pouty lips were just killing me to see any longer. Cari and Diane stood with jaws to the floor when I told her it was ok just to hit the road. I can only take so much and hit breaking point, usually in a bad way so to restrain myself I just let her leave, wished her well and the best of luck.
A friend of mine called me today to give me some interesting news; she walked in her house and this strange lady about the age of 30, sitting at her kitchen table with a glass of tea and sandwich with soup. The lady made herself a meal and at home. Dana was flabbergasted; she stood at her door and quickly called 911 and waited for the police to come. As the lady walked out she turned and apologized to her for making such a mess in the kitchen. Dana asked if I might come over and just look about and make sure everything appeared to be ok, it was but she insisted on cleaning everything.
I’m happy the weekend is here, not so much will be on the relaxing point since “The Move” is in order for the next few days, which means time to buckle down school is on for myself.
I’ve had 2 emails asking me how Amy and I are doing, we are having our ups and downs as of late but things seem to be smoothing along. It’s hard to communicate online and expressions sometimes do not come across as intended. Being apart as much as we have in the last few months, you tend to lose touch and the connections of communication. The long waits between typed replies and even the way its typed can be misconstrued. Never the love however, that comes across loud and clear. I keep her informed on all my happenings and tell her exactly how I feel “No holds barred” approach is the best in any relationship. Once you deny yourself any honesty or expression you lose it all – trust is the key thing.

Standing near the edge

My Pops was informed by myself and Mom early in the night; it would be to his best interest that he stays in the garage apartment until he leaves once more for the Gulf. He stood there for a few minutes dumbfounded that Mom would even suggest it. I was proud of her for letting him know exactly how upsetting he’s been this last year. He made excuse after excuse pointing fingers at anyone but himself but Mom wouldn’t have it and told him so. She also suggested that he seek out some counseling to work out some of his issues that he may have.
I wanted to show him just how much of a jerk I could be but decided it might be best to let her handle the situation and be there for support, not that he would ever do anything to her but if he came up with some lame excuse or lie I wanted to be there to hear it.
She and Jacks had a long heart to heart talk yesterday morning until he left to work. Apparently he spilled his guts to her about everything that’s been going on between him and the “ASSHOLE” (a new name given to him other than me). She pulled me off to my deck the minute I came home with tears in her eyes telling me the things he did but making me first promise not to go down there and kill him. “Why didn’t Jacks say something to us?” she asked me over and over. All I know is that he is very independent and wants everyone to think life is rosy.
Mom is worried that we my turn out to be like him, but there is no chance of that, she’s had too much of herself in our upbringing. Teaching us patience and love and trying to understand the other persons feelings first, especially if we don’t understand our own.
I am still standing on the edge of laying him out on the floor and doing my best to hold my damn temper down, things can get out of control but I wont let them.

.....

I know where I was six years ago today...... Do you?

Monday Monday…isn’t that a song?

It’s the start of the week again, like you didn’t already know that. Today’s forecast, hot and muggy and a High of 91, oh the fun we shall have in the heat.
This weekend, I worked of course and then came home to have a sit with Mom and my Pops. He was no where to be found, working my little brother into the ground to “man him up”. I can imagine the things he did and said to him. I remember one Saturday he did the “man up” day for me, I picked up rocks and moved things and dug drainage ditches. It was like he was trying to kill me in a slow way, the whole time insulting and correcting on every move. Looking back now I see his whole game plan and how he intended to break me.
Anyway, Mom has been clearly upset with him and these actions of the past month or so. She won’t talk to him during breakfast or dinner; she’s always out now with G or taking Lori to do things. Pops sleeps in the apartment garage.
We can not understand why he’s decided to make us public enemy number one, well I’ve always been on that list since around the age of thirteen. I never have liked anyone telling me what to do and he loves to tell you what to do = Oil and Water for us.
Why Jacks? He was the prodigal son to him; he drew as well or better than he, Jacks wants to be an architect as well. He’s a good guy, a bit clumsy at times with others but he holds his own. Doesn’t do drugs and rarely drinks, in fact he hates to drink or see people waste there bodies like that. Ever since Mom fell sick Pops has back lashed at us all in one way or another. Hell, we all hate that she’s sick; she has her good and bad days. That doesn’t mean we need to take each other out over it.
He tells us over and over, how tough life is, how you need to think hard and fast in life, there are many idiotic people out there looking out for them selves. Ok, that’s fine and good to know, doesn’t mean you need to pound it in us to prove your point.
Truthfully, he’s not put a finger on me in a long time, he did draw his fist back one night, and I just stood there and dared him to do it, his fist dropped and he grumbled and walked away. Now to get Jacks to that point, he won’t defend himself, he just stands there and will take it, or walk out of the house if Lori or Mom is home.
We were all hoping to luck out and Pops go back to the gulf this weekend but he will stick around for another month or so. Good thing for Jacks he’s leaving for school this weekend and won’t be home till Thanksgiving. Bad for me because I will have to put up with the idiot a while longer, its ok I can deal with him.

Lucky Sevens

In a rambling thoughts kind of mood today about work and people and other issues…. Work is a bummer at times, with grumpy property owners and businesses wanting in and out of contracts. “But that is the wonderful world of owning your own business, Mark!!”Why can’t I just win the lottery and live the dream life? –Laughs really loud-
Cari is off work today, so that means I must visit Bee at the greenhouse and give out checks. I like to give out checks; for some odd reason it makes everyone smile.
Last night we all sat outside and let the mosquitoes bite while we Hee Hawed in laughter watching the craziest TV show. It was a pleasant change, having a mature conversation (no complaints, no whines, no drama) snickering at antics on the boob tube. At times I miss that sense of not having to entertain anyone just chilling out and being there with no requirements.
My Pops is full on force jerk this week; I really didn’t catch all the stupid and cruel acts he’s been pulling on my brother. Some of the things he did were senseless; Jacks clambered through every bit of them. He must get in as much hate acts right now as possible, since Jacks is leaving in the next week. He wanted to go this weekend and settle in his condo but his boss needed him, she’s shutting down her art gallery this week and could use all the extra help.
Lori is going through her first boyfriend pangs…Pangs... Is that a true feeling? She likes another guy in her class now; Drew is out of the picture. “Oh Mark!! He’s too old!” I have a feeling I’m not going to be able to keep up with the men in her life. Mom sat and snickered at her as Lori babbled on and on about how she gave the new boy “blinks”.
Mom is doing well, minus the huge blow out with Pops over his attitude around the house. Pops has had the pleasure of sleeping in the garage apartment for the last few nights. This is something I want to hit upon but maybe tomorrow.

Oh man

Ok, I’ve been re reading a few of my past posts and I’m sure I lost some brain cells or have been distracted on about 90 percent of these. At times it appears there is Crack in my blood stream from all the ramblings typed. I can see where I was supposed to go on the post (having known what’s in my mind) but a few are just flittering off the topic. The majority of the time blogging is done in the office, with phones ringing, setting up appointments and what ever may come drifting in here. Instead of a Blah Blog maybe I should call it Marks Run On Sentences or Marks Where’s The Paragraphs, Marks I Hate Punctuation You Should Too. I assure you, I’ve never posted drunk --- Ok that’s a lie, early in the Xanga days I posted a few while inebriated but my point was well made. The other day Jacks walked in and said I’m a dirty poster (I’ve warned him this is MY blog) anyone that steps in this area had better beware, although I’ve been pretty tame as of yet. Lori insists that I let her read it since she’s almost double numbers like me – meaning she will be soon 10….in 2 years. I may try the paragraph option, I really hate making these things seem longer than they appear. Mom made a comment about it as well, that it might be a good idea to --- as the Three Stooges say, “Spread out!!”.

Humping the day away…

Nice Wednesday, so far and just one more week of the new girl with her gum throwing and what not. Cari and I just experience Potty humor and laughed until we both started coughing with tears in our eyes. Just had news a tropical storm might be heading our way, as much as I dread that, we really need the rain. This whole weekend was a treat and I’m still recouping from it. Friday night Luke and I ran out with the group and played pool and laughed, Saturday we slept on the beach and art walk, Sunday G cooked at the house, instead of us going out there and more beach time. Monday, more of the same, we also managed to squeeze in some time to move things for Jacks and purchase a new cell phone for him. (You know who busted it). His room looks funny, nearly empty now, when you walk in its hollow sounding with echoes. I guess that’s how my room was when I flew off to college so many million years ago. Actually it wasn’t that long ago, I miss those days, they were some really good times. Speaking of classes I have 3 coming up this term which will keep me busy until Christmas. That’s my job assignment for the day to hook myself up on classes.