Try and be nice….

A lot of times you can try and try to be nice to people with no good results. Maybe its not that they are appreciative of your actions, possibly they don’t understand them or in a mood to not want to accept them.
Take this one customer I have, last year I worked myself to death on a Koi pond for them then offered to give them step by step instructions on what to do this winter if they chose to do so. They gave me a look as to be insulted and they knew what to do. Today, I get this nice phone call about the pond not doing exactly as they expected. I asked if they used my instructions, they hadn’t, I’m sure they just chunked them out with the trash. Tomorrow I will drop by and check on the situation and give them more instructions how to maintain it, maybe set up a plan to give them visits to check on it for them.
This weekend my Pops came home in a huff because, once again Mom is in the hospital. I almost blew my cool factor when I overheard him grumbling that he may lose his job having to come home so often. I easily reminded him that he could lose his wife also and to keep that in mind; instead of busting his head open. He gave me the “deer in headlights” look half surprised that I over heard him. I walked out of the house, keeping in mind this is his way of dealing with her being sick – putting the blame on something or someone else.
We all do it, something doesn’t go right, or frightens us, we decide to go after something perfectly innocent rather than face the facts and hit the problem head on.
I talked to Jacks today and he basically told me to shove my happy mood where the sun doesn’t shine. He sat there in his “Jack mode” of being silent and thinking on the phone (that usually gets on my nerves but I do it too). After a few minutes I asked him to calmly explain what was up – if you know my brother and I know a lot of you do – there is no calm when he’s tore up over something. I listened and suggested him coming home for a while. There is too much going on all around him at the moment and some solitude might help him. Basically for him, it’s all hitting the fan.
This morning I sign on to grab my mail of replies from this blog where I notice a name I usually don’t see, it was Amy; her weather is bad there so she can’t call or get on the computer. I haven’t heard from her since last Thursday and figured she was busy so I didn’t worry. Once again she feels to be super hero and go into work and knock off seventeen hours in a day then proceeds to tell me she cries herself to sleep at night missing me. I can’t reply to that – how can I?
I sent Cari and Diane home, too tired to hear the bickering between the two of them. I suggested they sort out their problems out of the office. That since I love them so dearly I can’t watch them nit pick at each other into another battle. It’s a shame; both these women are in their 30s and act like they do.
Am I losing my “Chill Pill” attitude? I really don’t think so; I think it’s more like being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is a minor bump in the road, no blood has been shed and we haven’t lost anyone so life goes on…..

Updates...

Some emails have come to me in the last few days about my Mom. Well, she’s not doing much better, last Tuesday night she worried us all with lots of pain and sickness. Her cute little southern voice was raspy from being sick the majority of the day.
Lori sat with her after school keeping her amused with all the hilarity that goes on in her class room i.e. the snow dance they all performed, hopefully to get out of school like the kids up north.
She’s so little and no young kid should have to see a parent in pain, it amazes me to see how strong willed she is. My G says kids are a lot stronger than we give them credit for. I guess that’s true because Lori is right beside Mom the whole time making sure her every need is taken. We all agree that Lori will make a great nurse, just as Mom did before she took on the task of home schooling us all.
As promised to Luke and Jacks, I’d keep them informed on the situation at hand and if anything changed. Luke remarked he hated to see my number come up on the caller ID for fear that it would be some bad news.
At times when I look at my Mom is see the aunt—her older sister-- that just passed away recently. It worries me to even think that way, having my new found “Keep it cool” attitude; I don’t want to slip into some sort of depression.
My Pops of course came home, he was so tender and caring and quiet in the hospital, the minute his feet hit the floor at the house, he was a totally different man. Sullen and sulky, he slammed his office door and didn’t come out the rest of the night. He screeched for us to keep it down and not to disturb him. Lori crept off to her room, presumably to get online and talk to whom ever – hopefully it was Jacks.
G, who is staying at the inside house to be closer offered to keep Lori but she insisted on coming home with me. Maybe she needs some alone time too?
I called Luke and he went through his usual barrage of questions and “What ifs”. I answered as completely as I could. Trying my best to keep my patience with him, he insists on packing Lori up to move in with them right this moment.
Jacks was his normal silent self, only whispering in asking what he needed to do. I told him to sit tight for right now, he didn’t like that answer but accepted it. Right now all I need his him and Pops to go at it, with Pops in his mood and Jacks in his, it’s a 50/50 chance on who would win.
I keep my fingers crossed and my hopes high and my faith in the doctors and their knowledge. I find my thoughts drifting off to her during the day when I think I’m deep in thought about work I awaken to see it’s on her.
I thank you for your concerns and thoughts and prayers.

:)

Went out this weekend and enjoyed the days with the crew of “helpful” people….more on that later.
Friday night wasn’t all the eventful just hanging out with Mom in the hospital and reading up on some class work. Oh, I have the Fashionista in my class once more; she’s a hoot to have there. This time it’s not only she and a cohort, but 3 other chicks in the class as well, so it’s like a gaggle of funnies when all five all walk in the class to sit and find a spot, thank God we don’t have assigned seats.
I called Jacks but he didn’t answer the phone, he’s pretty much keeping to himself lately. I get why, soon enough he will learn you can’t push everyone away in your life when you get hurt.
Saturday I helped Lori with a class birthday and shopping spree, it was a gala event of 9 girls shopping during the afternoon and then dinner and spend the night party with videos. I was the tour bus driver from the mall to the “victims” house. I was afraid I might have to be a chaperone in the shopping excursion; I lucked out with the mommies giving pity on me.
Saturday night was the “helpful” people crew, trying to hook me up with some girl at the bowling alley – a bowling alley of all places! I don’t even bowl! I took everything in stride and played it off as a joke and made a good friend in the process. I explained to her I had someone already in my life and surprisingly she understood. Also, the fact that I had to impress upon her I had no idea this “setup” was being made -- she was aware of the whole deal -- I guess the ladies in her group can’t keep a secret but the guys in mine can and do.
Sunday was Gs, it was quiet, with no Mom or G or Lori or Jacks. Just me and PG chilling out watching TV and eating TV dinners, we walked over to my lot, its still there……….

Hum, this is Wednesday?

Well the weeks have blown on so quickly, I’ve had so much school and work going on there’s been no time for Mark. Which is fine, it’s funny although to look back and see nothing but my face in a book, phone, plate or pillow and be satisfied.
I’ve also spent a lot of time in the hospital with Mom but G keeps her entertained and her needs up. Moms blood levels are once again low and she’s highly susceptible to colds. The doctor insists it the medications, so she lies in bed all pale and weak looking.
My older brother dropped in for a few days to check up on the situation, when that happens it worries me more. It’s as if someone is keeping something from me, Luke rarely comes home for a casual visit. Now, I know how Jacks feels being so far away and not being able to help out.
Luke and his group are doing well, little Kyle has the croup or some sort of cold and cries for his daddy all the time. Luke is happy that he doesn’t whine for Mommy. He asked me what drugs I’m on because of my new attitude towards everything; I guess he was looking for the stress or distress on my face.
Jacks is getting along with school and the new town. He insists they put him in pre freshman classes, “I haven’t really cracked a book yet Mark”. His latest battle right now is his gas heat pump in the house, apparently the coldest days of the year and his unit goes out, so much for a new condo.
Lori is working on a new dress code, I think. As far as I know she could be building a nuclear bomb, I never see her.
Work is going fine, the ladies in the office had given a reprieve on the battle since Keith Ledger was found dead. Something about a “tragedy” pulls them together to talk things out. I knew eventually they would come along; they are too close to really keep a long running battle. Now they scowl at me because I didn’t do my usual interference and referee for them.

Shh! Is that calming?

Well, I’ve been sticking to my “Don’t get riled up plan” the last few weeks. Its working.
The main reason its happening is because of a new friend I made over the holidays, well not so much a friend, I had to do a job for them and got to know them a little better.
The first day I walked into their house, more so drove into the driveway my first instincts were to pull out and drive away fast. I had “Whack A Doo” signals all over the place, like some huge Hippy commune lived there. I kept looking for the hemp plants growing in a closet.
After the first week, seeing mishap after mishap come their way, it was remarkable to watch it handled, no shouting, no throwing items, no slamming doors, no crying, no whining, just deep calming breaths and then the rationality shown through. It was truly a drama free zone, I loved it.
So now I’ve incorporated the whole philosophy of taking it easy and processing problems out instead of stressing. Like right now Cari and Diane are in battle once more, they aren’t talking to one another, no more breaks together or giggling for the two. Keeping my nose out of the whole situation and ignoring it seems to be the best route for me, they come in and whine about the other. I smile and nod my head and think happy thoughts. Give out a big sigh and say “I understand you are hurt but maybe you should just go talk to her”. They look at me like I’m crazy but its helping me. Its not that I don’t care, because I do but unless its life threatening its not worth the stress.
The same with My Pops and Mom. Mom is in the hospital right now with another bout of weakness and low blood and iron. Do I stress? Do I flip out? Do I listen to my Pops screech that I’m not helping enough around the house? NO! I breath deep, keep the faith in the doctors and ignore the idiot.
Lori and her school projects… not a problem.. Jacks being away and having pneumonia….not a problem. They have to deal on their own and survive as I have. I offer suggestions and listen to complaints, ponder on the situation a little and walk away.
My blood pressure has never been so low, my school grades are higher, my work ethic has improved and life seems to be swimming right along for me.
Trace insists on purchasing me a Tie Dye shirt to go with my groovy new attitude, funny, he’s taking on the same as I.
We will see how long this lasts, it might be a week it might be a month, how ever long I’m giving it a whirl.

Tuesdays…

Finally got online in what seems like a month of Sundays today just to pilfer around and see what might be up in World Wide Web….Nothing….. Nada… I haven’t missed a stinking thing.. Same old same, “Britney whines blah ditty blah WAH” and “Lindsey drinks blah ditty blah GULP” and “The Presidential race Blah ditty blah BORING”….harrumph…
So I hit a favorite chat site and who did I run into? Amy! I was happy to see her online but then again, sort of dreaded her calling me since yesterday she tried to call me a million times, whilst my phone was on the dead side. I messaged her and said the phone was charging and to give it a try now. She naturally freaked and called me in tears once more, oh boy.
I managed to talk to Jess, someone that hangs out with Jacks quite a bit. She had me laughing with all the crazy news from the holidays. I didn’t know my little brother was such a crazy man.
I ran out of the house fairly quickly to race into work this afternoon. The ladies were in rare form, all pumped up for gossip and mayhem. “Where’s the freaking food?!?!” I mean really, if you are going to be all pumped up at least do it in front of the stove!
Oh man, I can hear the pots and pans being tossed my way right now.
After work I blew home to dress for a dinner and then back to study for class tomorrow. Lori was in a mood, apparently she’s having man problems. I smiled and walked in my room, cracked my books open and began to read. The whole time in the back of my mind Loris latest victim might be out the door.
Just finished watching The Chelsea Lately Show, that lady floors me with her humor. Jacks introduced me to the show one night hearing him in hysterics, I had to sit down and watch it with him.
I cant sleep and I’m hyper..
Mom has had some really nice days as of yet, this makes life so much more peaceful. No Pops present as of yet, he’s still working in the Gulf making his condos.
Well, lets see what the rest of the week brings… I see my self swimming for trouble with this post.

School daze…..

Its been a nice long break from school and the pressures of blasting from one place to another but it begins again. Who am I kidding? I wanted this, this shuffling and working out strategies and planning of my daily events.
The new years was crazy, probably topped this year in a big way. A friend of ours decided to have a party which ended up lasting 2 days. The house they have is enormous and easily held the amount of people there plus some. Quite fun in fact until the next morning when things come to light or dark how ever it is or ends up for you.
For me, bah it was the same old same, bad breath wrinkled clothing, hair shooting up all over the place and ravenously hungry. I cant say that for about 8 girls there at the party, some how they ended up purchasing hair coloring and all because raven black haired vixens, with color everywhere. It made for an entertaining morning watching the shock and surprise on their faces.
I did manage to call my brothers and wish them Happy New Year, Luke was cozied up on the couch, getting ready to watch the peach drop, kids in the bed and wife passed out beside him from a long day. He gave the “Parental Speech” of being careful and no driving and its best to stay put. I was and I was. I left him a few minutes before 12 so he could spend it with Julie.
My next call was to Jacks who was in a different time zone that I so I called him a few drinks later. He sounded like shit and I told him so, his pneumonia is not getting any better. So our conversation wasn’t fill with sunshine and roses, how ever the last few haven’t been between us. Then it hit me to lay off him, he is away from home, doesn’t know a soul there and moved 3 times in nearly as many months.
The next morning I woke to a new cool day and attitude on every aspect of my life. Don’t we all? The first of the year everyone resolves to change something they don’t like about themselves. Either by the end of the day or week, we set ourselves up for the failure of our over spent goals.
Ah but now its time for school and work……