Epp!

So last night I’m talking to Lori on the phone, she’s all a flutter over her little boy friend Todd. “What can I buy him for Christmas and it won’t be stupid?” I suggested another girlfriend that she was too young to want to do this now. She gasped at my answer and told me to get real and give her some ideas.
I guess they are doing this at a younger age, I tell you, when I was 10, girls still had cooties they were something during dodge ball you could throw extra hard at. Never would I have thought about buying them a Christmas present.
The guy she likes is almost 12 now, nearly a teen. He plays football and I swear he shaves. She’s just a baby still not even into the double digits but she likes a boy way older than her. Mom says to get used to it that she was just the same when she was younger.
Well, for the record I don’t have to get used to it, I plan on being the mean older brother and scare the bejeebers out of all her men. Todd is going to be in for a big surprise when he drops in and I’m around. He will get the 52 questions plus some from me, which will probably make Lori throw household appliances in my direction. Just for meanness I want to pretend to measure her windows for lock bars. Actually she’s moved up to Jacks old room on the third floor. This is a huge mistake on my parents’ part; Jacks would have “visitors” for the weekend there and slip out undetected late at night or slip in if the case may be.
I know, I know, be nice and let her have her boyfriends but why cant she just play cheerleader and do that “Color Clique Day” deal still? I liked her when she would be afraid of the jellyfish in the water and the waves were too high for her. Now she runs out in some string thing and hits the waves like a pro. She talks online or on her cell phone all hours of the night. No telling what she does on her little chat sites. Her notebooks are covered with hearts and smilies and boys names.
She and Julie both have posters of the current boy bands on their walls and giggle and dream about them. Once I walked in on them one day setting up for a mock wedding.
Oh man, my head spins.
In a good 3 or 4 years she will be dating and seeing guys in other ways, I know right now she just likes the idea of having a boyfriend, she’s had one since she’s been five. I still think back on the poor boy she made sandwiches for and they were really made of sand.
Has anyone invented a way to turn back time?